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shinymaplesquid:

shinymaplesquid:

I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours”

#welcometocanada

I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe

UPDATE:
I told them “yes if you send a pic” & they sent me tHIS

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(Source: pancakessexual, via progressivespirit)

mothbug:

real talk does anyone ever just take a moment to appreciate the flawless combination that is cheese and tomatoes

cheese and tomatoes

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cheese and tomatoes

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cheese and tomatoes

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c h e e s e  a n d  t o m a t o e s

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(via ruinedchildhood)

tastefullyoffensive:

[lunarbaboon]

(Source: lunarbaboon)

codeinewarrior:

me: hey can i have some money?

bank teller: do you have an account with us?

me: nah i just heard yall got money

(via lefouimafraidivebeenthinking)

rneatbicycle:

that’s what little girls are made of

(Source: meatbicyclevevo, via ruinedchildhood)

wiseyoungravenclaw:

Remus Arthur Potter, you were named after two men who looked out for my safety and cared about my well-being out of altruism and decency rather than because I was a tool for them to use or because I was someone’s son.

(via somethingtrivial)

canadianslut:

Can I suck your dick?
*Teacher pops out of nowhere*: I don’t know, CAN you??

(via no-wifi)

(Source: iraffiruse, via sharpieweddingrings)

(via gnarly)